Jan. 18th, 2006
Adam told me who his favorite "hollywood" bodies are- suprisingly they are curvy- they are definatly not my favorite body types. He hates skinny girls- he hates bones- therefore he and I have been fighting a lot about my weightloss. Anyways here they are:
( Curvyness aheadCollapse )
Dec. 8th, 2005
I feel great- really I feel great- other than my eyes are so puffy from crying all night long. Why doesnt he love me- am I impossible to love? Why does he not care? Why? When him and I first met- I was this little punk girl, I loved punk, and I loved rock. What have I become- sitting here in a pink turtle neck- and dress pants- when did I get so girly? When did I get so needy? I miss my jeans, I miss my hoddies, I miss my t-shirts, I miss my funky nail poilish, my sneakers, I miss my confidence, and I miss my independence. I want it all back. All. I dont want to be in love anymore- it hurts too much. This is why I always told myself never to fall in love- and now look- I am an obsessed freak. I hate it- I hate it i hate it. I want to go back, I want to erase everything- I want to be myself again- but everything got lost along the way.